The Lighter Side of Life

Why parents get gray

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an  urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees  home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" 
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the  boss asked, Is your Daddy home? 
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy  there?"
"Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice  whispered, "No".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides
you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman".  Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"?  "No, he's busy", whispered the child. 
"Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. 
"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. 
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper" 
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,  "Why are they there"?
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me"

A few more "Father's Day" funnies submitted by Mary Johnson
Who Wears The Pants?
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their  wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.
"That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.  "Heck," he said, "I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to be until  your attitude changes!"

Where's The Remote?
"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."